Friday, July 31, 2009

Chapter Six.

I toss the shitting squirrel at the crowd of other squirrels and quickly put on the trench coat and top hat. I push the green button on the remote and time slows down. I put it in the coat pocket and engage the crowd of squirrels in a massive brawl a la Matrix Reloaded.

To be continued...

Chapter Five.

Out of pure terror, the small squirrel craps on your head. The other squirrels find this very amusing. They then start to rub their paws and lick their lips. They are getting closer. You have a soiled squirrel, a remote control and the mysterious stranger ends up to be nothing but a top hat and a trench coat on a coat rack.

To be continued...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Chapter Four.

I immediately zip up and remind my dinner not to tell her parents or else, then make a lunge for the remote. I keep it firmly held in my left hand while my right hand grabs one of the smaller squirrels. I then immediately hold the squirrel above my head and point the remote at its head and tell the other buggers that if any of them so much as snickers at me, their lil' buddy will get it.

I then make a run at the mysterious stranger...

Chapter Two and Three.

Chapter Two.

I run to the nearest schoolyard playground and eat like its an ice buffet going outta business and they're givin' away free samples!

Chapter Three.

You eat until you puke and then eat some more.... when you get yourself together after the feeding frenzy you notice that someone is watching you.
You are surrounded by squirrels, hundreds of them, ranging in size from an inch to that of a '97 Ford Crown Victoria.

Next to you lies an unidentifyable remote control.

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Prologue and Chapter One.

Before we begin I would like to issue a warning. This story is NOT for everyone. If you feel that you are easily offended by less then moral behavior and phenomenons you have no real business following this story as it unfolds. Any person depicted in this story is there because of admiration, popularity and/or just for the fun of it, and I can safely say that anything happening to any celebrities or other people in this story is totally fictitious and is in no way stated as facts. If someone or something (?) still takes offense, the person/animal/thing is actually a lifeless clone, so please stop bitching about it!

This story has a somewhat strange narrative since it is a collaboration between two anonymous authors and the chapters will therefor shift from second person to first person perspective. Any misspellings are intentional and according to the original script. Each update will contain one chapter, and the frequency of updates might wary greatly.

Now, when we have everything covered (I hope) let us begin.

Chapter One.

You wake up... You have no recollection of who or where you are. The room is small with only a naked bulb hanging from the ceiling for light.
You look around and see:
One matress, you are lying on it
On red door
One yellow door
In front of the door stands a 4 feet tall squirrel, observing you

You wear nothing but a bathrobe.

To be continued...