Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Chapter Twentyone.

'I am not who you may think I am' the man who looks a lot like Sean Connery whisper's.
'Sean Connery?' you ask while you, in disbelief, rub your eyes with clenched fists.
'I am EXACTLY who you think I am' the slapper of all slappers corrects himself. With his leathery palms he brings forth a pipe and tobacco from his back pocket. When the pipe is prepared he takes what looks like a small hamster, draws it quickly along his battle jeans to ignite its head and lights the pipe.
For a few second the both of you just sits in silence while he puffs away on his pipe. The air fills with the smell of newly baked navel lint bread... and bacon.
'You where lucky I got to you in time, young padawan'

In the distance you can hear the roars of Chuck Norris's goons as they desperatly search for you. Mr.Connery continues - 'We can not have you square off with Mr.Norris just quite yet young padawan, you must first learn the way of the slapper!'
This Perplexes you... isn't women the target of the slapper of all slappers slaps? Not THE Chuck Norris!
'I know what you wonder, young padawad, and yes... she is actually a drag king... she has not gone by her real name Jaqueline No'reese in a long time'


Sean Connery stumbles forward, holding his chest. He has been hit by a harpoon! they have found you!

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